


What You Deserve

by tabbytabbytabby



Category: Teen Wolf (TV)
Genre: Angst, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Good Theo Raeken, Hopeful Ending, M/M, Nightmares, Post-Canon, Pre-Slash, Self-Harm, Sleepwalking, Theo Raeken Needs a Hug, Whumptober 2020
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-10-07
Updated: 2020-10-07
Packaged: 2021-03-08 05:01:56
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 911
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26870095
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/tabbytabbytabby/pseuds/tabbytabbytabby
Summary: Theo is plagued by nightmares of his past, and one night it gets to be too much and he finds himself back where Tara died.
Relationships: Liam Dunbar/Theo Raeken
Comments: 6
Kudos: 83





	What You Deserve

**Author's Note:**

  * For [manonisamelon](https://archiveofourown.org/users/manonisamelon/gifts).



> Based on [this aesthetic](https://manonisamelon.tumblr.com/post/628877447988903936/for-day-5-dramasuspense-of-the-fandomaufest) by Manon.
> 
> For Day 6 of Whumptober using the prompts: “Get it out,” "No more," and “Stop, please.”

He doesn't deserve this. Any of it. Not the roof over his head, or the bed he's sleeping in, and certainly not the trust of the people sleeping down the hall. 

Theo knows that. He knows that after everything he's done he doesn't deserve the good things he has. 

He supposes that's why he clings to them so desperately. Afraid that if he loosens his grip for even a moment it will all slip away. 

He tells himself that's why he hardly sleeps anymore. It's easier to make sure everything is as it should be when he's awake. 

Nevermind the nightmares that greet him every time he closes his eyes. Every time he gets too comfortable and lets himself find some peace here. 

She's always there in his dreams, reminding him of why he doesn't deserve this life he has now. 

He feels like he hasn't properly slept in days. He's exhausted. Much as he tries to stay awake, his tired eyes slip closed. 

Just for a moment. He tells himself he'll rest his eyes just for a moment and then he'll be fine. But the moment grows long and before he knows it sleep is claiming him. 

For a while he floats in blissful nothingness. A dreamless sleep. Then she appears like she always does. Her cold and lifeless eyes looking through him. 

"Theo."

Theo swallows past the lump in his throat and stumbles back. "I'm sorry. I'm sorry, Tara."

"Theo," she sings out again as she creeps closer. She smiles, something cold and ugly. He stands frozen as her fingers move across his chest, right over his heart. No. Her heart. When her hand plunges into his chest, he's ready for it. It's the same as it always is. But different. The pain feels different. She leans in closer, her bloody smile stretching wider across her face. "You can't love with what's not yours."

"Please," he begs. "No more."

She squeezes the heart in his chest and he gasps, breathing suddenly becoming a lot harder. 

"Theo! Theo!"

Theo frowns. The voice calling his name isn't Tara's. It's someone else. Someone familiar. The sound of it signaling safety. But he doesn't feel safe. He just feels pain. 

"Theo! Stop, please you have to stop!"

"Get it out," Theo sobs. "You have to get it out. It's not mine."

"Theo! Stop! Please! You have to let go. You're… good. You're killing yourself."

That doesn't make sense. He's not the one ripping his heart out. That's Tara. Except Tara isn't here. It's just him. Him and Liam.

_Liam._

He gasps, when the pain and pressure in his chest lessons. His vision focuses, and he frowns when he sees Liam in front of him looking panicked. 

"Theo," Liam whispers, raising a shaky hand to his face. "Are you with me?"

Theo nods and takes a shaky breath. His eyes move from Liam's face down to where one of his hands is gripping Theo's. Theo's bloodstained hand. 

"What…?"

"You don't know what you were doing, do you?" Liam asks softly.

Theo shakes his head, "No, I was dreaming of Tara. And she tried to take her heart back like she always does. Except…"

"She's not the one that was doing it, Theo. You were. I think you were sleepwalking and came out here and…"

"Sleepwalking?" Theo looks around at their surroundings, confused to see they're not in his bedroom but…"We're in the preserve."

"Yeah."

"We're where Tara died," Theo whispers. Because they are. He’d know this place anywhere. They're in the same waters Tara died in years before. And Theo… God he'd almost ripped his heart out here. 

"I think I need help," Theo whispers. 

Liam nods, and brushes the hair back from his face. "You'll get it. You're not alone in this, Theo."

"I should be," Theo says. "After everything I did, I don't deserve…"

"Shut up," Liam says harshly. "Yeah, you were a shitty person, and you did bad things. But you're working on being better. You _are_ better."

"I still don’t deserve you, Liam."

"Well tough," Liam says. "Because you have me, and I'm not going anywhere." He looks around them and winces. "Except maybe to take you home."

_Home_. It’s still taking some getting used to knowing he has a place he can call home. 

"I am a little cold," Theo says. 

"Of course you are," Liam mutters. "You've been in this water for who knows how long."

He gets to his feet and pulls Theo with him. He stays close, wrapping an arm around Theo's waist as they talk down the path out of the preserve.

"How'd you find me?" Theo asks him. 

"I woke up and you were gone," Liam says "I just had a feeling something was wrong. So I tracked you out here. Just in time too."

Theo stops, and Liam frowns. "What are you doing?"

"Thank you," Theo says softly. 

"For what?"

"For finding me. For seeing the good in me."

"I always will."

Theo's still not sure he deserves someone like Liam. But he knows he wants to. He wants to be someone worthy of Liam's shy smiles and soft touches. Of his trust. Of everything Liam has to offer. Despite what Liam says, he's not sure he's there yet. But he's going to do whatever it takes to get there. It won't be easy, he knows, but thanks to Liam he knows this is a battle he doesn’t have to fight alone.

**Author's Note:**

> Thanks for reading! Kudos/comments make my day 💜  
> You can find me [here on tumblr](http://tabbytabbytabby.tumblr.com/)


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